I just don't think the Kents are going to make it.
As everyone gears up for the strongest European cruise and tour season on record, this family is putting its faith in the good intentions of a major travel corporation. You have to wonder if that faith is justified.
It could have been any one of a number of companies, but it happens that they are booked on a cruise to Europe aboard Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas.
Launched in 1999, the Voyager can hold 3,838 guests, including hundreds of children seeing Europe for the first time. The Kents are doing this cruise for their kids, attracted to Royal Caribbean by the fine reputation of its children's programs.
Mark, Emily and Megan range in age from 8 to 14. The Kents have paid $17,119 for their two balcony cabins. Even Jim Cramer would agree that's real money.
Susan and Mark Kent Sr. are excited about showing their children the wonders of Rome and Florence, the ruins at Pompeii and a bit of France. The ship will be sailing roundtrip out of Barcelona on a wonderful one-week itinerary, particularly for kids eager to explore worlds they have been talking about in school.
The Kents booked the air-sea program through Royal Caribbean. They were aware that they could have booked the air on their own but they wanted Royal Caribbean to be "responsible" for getting them to and from the ship.
Air deviations were discussed, but nonstop flights were not available, so spending the additional money to get a one-stop flight made little sense given the number of deviations and possible up-charges.
So the Kents placed their faith in the corporation, as so many thousands of others before them have done.
Then the air schedule was released. The Kents are flying Air France from Barcelona to Paris and then connecting to the Air France nonstop, home to Chicago.
They have 50 minutes to connect in Paris. Fifty minutes.
Have you ever tried connecting at Charles de Gaulle? Would you feel comfortable, optimistic or joyful about a 50-minute connecting time in Paris?
The Kents were worried. Not a vague worry but a stomach-churning concern that they were going to be stranded in a foreign airport with luggage headed who-knows-where and no one except an airline counter clerk to assist them.
So the air desk at Royal Caribbean was contacted. They were nice, understanding, even helpful. One air agent went through every possible combination of connections, finding only a dubious three-stop through Detroit.
The Kents were advised to stick with what they have. There are "lots of other Royal Caribbean passengers on that connection" the agent was advised. They usually have a bus waiting for them "at the gangway to bring them right to the Chicago flight. We use this connection all the time, and we haven't had problems with it."
The travel consultant asked, "Why would you assign such a tight connection knowing the aggravation this is bound to cause these guests as they imagine the worst-case scenario?"
Then came the interesting answer.
"It is all done by computer," the air agent explained, in a moment of extreme candor.
He explained that Royal Caribbean's flight schedules are selected by a highly evolved computer program. Available flights within the line's pricing parameters are scrutinized and assigned based on the shortest waiting time between connections. The Paris connection was deemed by the planners at Air France to be a "legal" connection. Therefore, it was selected by the computer.
This is not about Royal Caribbean. It is about a number of the large companies, cruise lines and tour operators who have removed the human equation from their air selections for air-inclusive guests.
This summer, time after time, we are seeing tight connections on Lufthansa through Frankfurt. No one in the air departments of the mega-travel companies seems aware that in-transit passengers in Frankfurt are often required to pass through security checkpoints. This can easily add a half-hour to any required connecting time, but the "legal" connections in the GDS do not reflect this fact.
No, this isn't about Royal Caribbean. But is it about the growing number of cruise lines and tour operators who view the assignment of air schedules as the dirty little job they have to perform. They have learned at the feet of the airlines, assigning flights on the basis of cost rather than convenience.
Years ago, cruise line execs would candidly tell you that they wished they could get out of the airline business. Now, with the advances in yield- and price-management software, they have found a way to make profits off of air without dirtying their hands with a whole lot of human intervention. The computers find the flights.
In a previous life, I worked for one of the major cruise lines. At that time, 91% of the complaints we received in writing had to do with air transportation to or from our product.
I wonder what the percentage is these days. It is a staggering problem for the cruise lines, tour operators and their collective image as service providers.
As Royal Caribbean's air agent said of their upcoming flight schedule, "I think they have a chance to catch the connection, but I would be surprised if the luggage made it."
Is this the standard of customer service to which we aspire?
The Kents have not traveled yet. At this point, it would cost them several thousand dollars to do their own air, so they will absorb the anxiety. They will be worrying about their return flight for much of their cruise.
I doubt they will make it with their baggage. I really hope I am wrong. I will let you know.
Contributing editor Richard Turen owns Churchill and Turen, a vacation-planning company, and has been named to Conde Nast's list of the World's Top Travel Specialists since the list began.