I will not be outdone by the major cruise lines, so I've ordered my
own cruise ship from a Finnish shipyard. Yeah, that's right, me. It
will be 80 million tons and will be able to carry the populations
of both Carolinas plus most of Georgia. It will have a full-size
horse track, its own airplane runway and its own ZIP code. Each
cabin will be the size of the average Wal-Mart. The vessel will
sail between New York and the U.K., but, because its length will
span seven-eighths of the Atlantic, one-way voyages will take only
two hours. My ship will be easier to see from the moon than the
Great Wall of China. OK, Carnival, Royal Caribbean, et al. -- your
move.
Microsoft's MSN Expedia said its 1998 sales totaled $250
million, besting the previous year by 150%. Here's yet another
instance when I would like to write something snide and cynical,
but I'm afraid it will crash Windows 95 or MS Word.