I can't believe Airbus Industrie's somewhat sneaky decision to leak
plans for the A-3XX, the so-called cruise ship in the sky, on the
very eve of my own, strikingly similar announcement. Weeks of
delicate planning are now laid to waste because, as everyone knows,
it's being first that counts. Ron Howard learned that lesson the
hard way with "A Bug's Life."
At any rate, my cruise-ship-in-the-sky plan is far better than
theirs. For instance, their plane has a gym. Big deal. You know how
Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed fall in the swimming pool when the gym
floor opens up in "It's a Wonderful Life"? Mine's got that. Their
plane has shops. Mine has a mall, and valley girls. Berths? I'm
working on a fifty-story hotel tower with a sunken garage.
But here's the best part: I'm putting in bigger seats. Nothing
too swanky. It's not like I'm using Lazy Boys. But just a little
wider across, with a tad more leg room. I don't care what the heck
else they do, they'll never think of that.