Plane truth

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I can't believe Airbus Industrie's somewhat sneaky decision to leak plans for the A-3XX, the so-called cruise ship in the sky, on the very eve of my own, strikingly similar announcement. Weeks of delicate planning are now laid to waste because, as everyone knows, it's being first that counts. Ron Howard learned that lesson the hard way with "A Bug's Life."

At any rate, my cruise-ship-in-the-sky plan is far better than theirs. For instance, their plane has a gym. Big deal. You know how Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed fall in the swimming pool when the gym floor opens up in "It's a Wonderful Life"? Mine's got that. Their plane has shops. Mine has a mall, and valley girls. Berths? I'm working on a fifty-story hotel tower with a sunken garage.

But here's the best part: I'm putting in bigger seats. Nothing too swanky. It's not like I'm using Lazy Boys. But just a little wider across, with a tad more leg room. I don't care what the heck else they do, they'll never think of that.

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