The head-smacking, "Why didn't I think of that?" aspect of Heather
MacLean Walters' new book, "Take Your Pets Along," is enough to set
my (canine) teeth on edge. Not having been blessed with pets of my
own, I guess I just lack the mindset to come up with such a
practical yet unexploited area of travel writing.
To avoid missing this Greyhound altogether, I've decided to shop
around my own animal act: "Send Your Pets Away" will be a sensitive
yet hard-hitting treatise on how to acculturate your four-legged
dependents without actually having to see the world yourself.
Whereas Ms. Walters' tome explores the notion of traveling
with your pet, my book will stress animal independence by
encouraging Rover to live up to his name and plan his own damn
Sure, it's tough love. But isn't it time to tell Fifi and Fido
to get off their tails and hit the bricks? I know, cats can't
drive. Well neither can my Aunt Carmella and she's been going to
Miami Beach every year since the Eisenhower administration.
So take a page from my upcoming book and "Send Your Pets Away."
Remember, though, don't try this with fish. Hardly anybody really
likes fish. See related story