United we sit


United Airlines is planning an education program to teach passengers how to take off on time. The series of "gently" conveyed reminders are designed to show us nitwitted travelers how to get on the plane and sit down.

What a great idea! If United had instituted this policy earlier, I might not have spent six hours at O'Hare while my connecting flight to Hawaii sat at the gate. Instead of waiting for an explanation that never actually materialized, I would have gotten on the plane and sat down.

And maybe if I'd gotten on that United flight out of Los Angeles a little earlier, I wouldn't have missed my connecting flight in Denver, which would have eliminated the little conversation I had with one of United's friendly "employee owners," who told me that if I continued to ask questions he would call the cops and have me hauled off.

And quite possibly...oh, forget it. Yeah, it must be our fault after all.


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