When nature yells

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I rarely use airplane restrooms. This has nothing to do with the fact that they seem more like scale models of restrooms than the real thing.

It's actually because once I take my seat on a plane, which also, by the way, seems more like a scale model than an actual seat, I don't want to battle my way up the aisle for anything short of a full-fledged emergency. Nature has to scream at the top of its lungs to get me to unbuckle that belt.

Now I find I'm not the only one who avoids the WC in the sky. Two male passengers on two separate flights over the past two weeks decided that rather than seeking out the facilities, they would simply relieve themselves on their fellow passengers.

In both instances, the men had consumed copious quantities of alcohol. One of the bladder-challenged fellows, a Norwegian man, either through good intentions or bad aim, managed to hit only empty seats. The other guy, an American, stumbled up the aisle with his pants at half mast and a beer in his hand. He managed to dampen the spirits of at least one other passenger.

Both men received hefty fines. The American still faces a stiff cleaning bill. And from now on, I'm not taking off without a raincoat.

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