Laugh lines, part 2

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I have a huge reservoir now of responses to my June 21 query about your funniest travel or client stories.

It is time to share again. Readers have a stunning number of stories in the Land Bridges We Did Not Know About category.

Joy Eakin, Destinations Unlimited, Vero Beach, Fla., recalls the client who booked a trip to Nassau but "did not know" if he was a citizen. He called later to cancel because he had "decided to drive."

Bobbye Haupt has more tales of this type than most, but selling cruises (at Cruises Inc. in Delaware) probably increased the odds she would hear these:

  • "No, I don't need air fare. I work for Amtrak and can take the train to San Juan, Puerto Rico, for free."
  • "We're going to take the tunnel to Honolulu."
  • "I want a Panama Canal cruise that leaves from Denver and ends in Los Angeles."
  • "I just want the cruise-only rate without meals. I prefer to eat off the ship."
  • Bobbye is so grateful for the phone mute button!

    Similarly, Karen Oldham, at a Carlson Wagonlit on-site at a Merrill Lynch office in New York, said, "Pity the day we get TV telephones," after telling this one: A secretary asked if her boss needed a visa to visit Boston from Chicago.

    When told the cities were in the same country, the secretary said, "Don't tell me that. I happen to know that Boston is in New England."

    Speaking of visas, Steve McCarthy, director of travel development and operations for TravelHero.com in Scottsdale, Ariz., said when he owned an Omaha, Neb., agency, he had a client who insisted he did not need a visa for a China trip. When asked why, the client said, "I have traveled there before and my MasterCard works just fine."

    Barbara Bom, manager of Rushmore Travel in Rapid City, S.D., told of the client who wanted a belated honeymoon to Mexico. He said, "I think we'd like to go to Puerto Viagra."

    She also recalled a colleague trying to book a tour with air from Rapid City. When the res agent couldn't find air add-ons from anywhere nearby, Barbara's colleague quipped, "That's what we get for living in Podunk," after which the res agent hopefully asked, "What's the city code for that?"

    Also from South Dakota: Vickie Marnach, travel operations administrator for Orion Food Systems in Sioux Falls, tells about the woman who, when she was asked at the airport if her bags had been under her control since she packed them, replied, "Well, I have a little problem with the wheels wobbling on the largest one."

    I have a lot more of these, but I saved three toppers for next week.

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