One of those Florida-based outfits that flood the market with
direct-mail pitches for Caribbean vacations sent one to a former
U.S. president who, unfortunately, will be unable to accept. The
postcard solicitation began "Dear Rutherford, we're excited for
you" and was sent to Rutherford B. Hayes at the Presidential Center
named for him in Fremont, Ohio. A spokesman for the center told the
St. Petersburg Times that the former president, who died 105 years
ago, couldn't take advantage of the offer because he's "a little
lethargic these days." The company that sent the postcard said
someone from the center must have used the institution's name to
buy a mail-order item and the center ended up on a direct-mail
marketing list. They might want to make the offer to the incumbent
in the White House.
Kingdom in the sea
Reuters' Paris bureau reported that the self-styled King
Orelie-Antoine I of Patagonia dispatched a "light naval unit" of
his marines to the English Channel, where they laid claim to a
group of rocks known as Les Minquiers, hoisting the "flag of
Patagonia" thereupon. The Minquiers rocks, which are south of the
Isle of Jersey and which disappear at high tide, actually have come
under dispute in the past. In 1953, the International Court at the
Hague turned down France's request for sovereignty over the rocks,
affirming British sovereignty. Comment from the U.K. authorities
was not forthcoming. Seems to us we could use more invasions like
this, in this piping time.
Acting dignified
Friends who took their honeymoon aboard the Disney Magic had a
chance to do some celebrity-watching. Former bad boys turned family
men Eddie Murphy and Danny Bonaduce were along on a recent sailing.
It is doubtful whether 10 years ago or so, either of these stars
would have been associated with family friendly Disney. Eddie
Murphy was a stand-up comic with decidedly un-family friendly
material who also gained quite a reputation as a party animal.
During the last couple of years, Murphy has changed his image. He
has married, had a few kids and starred in such films as Disney's
"Mulan" and 20th Century Fox's "Dr. Doolittle." Bonaduce has gone
through similar changes. The former "Partridge Family" star gained
a lot of notoriety on the talk-show circuit for revealing the good,
the bad and the ugly of having been a child actor. After nearly
becoming the Charo of the Howard Stern-Richard Bey circuit,
Bonaduce started a new career on radio, hosting his own morning
show and talking about his lovely wife and beautiful child. We
don't know whether the two former tabloid darlings managed to run
into each other on the Lido deck. If they did, what did they talk
about? Lawn-treatment products?
Grudge match
The Debbie Reynolds Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas was acquired
by the World Wrestling Federation. The WWF was the highest bidder
for the casino, and reports said the organization will turn it into
a wrestling arena and theme hotel. What can guests coming to the
new facility expect to see? Andre the Giant's wrestling shoes next
to Gene Kelly's tap shoes? A display of Hulk Hogan's championship
belt with Judy Garland's shoes from "The Wizard of Oz"? One thing
that might attract tourists far and wide--a celebrity tag team
match pitting Debbie and Liz Taylor against Eddie Fisher and the
current WWF champ, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
So how's it goin', eh?
Clients headed to Vancouver, British Columbia, and packing
roller blades should be forewarned: Police in that lovely,
park-rich city are training radar guns on skaters and busting them
for speeding. The weekend before Labor Day, more than a dozen
roller bladers were arrested by Vancouver police and slapped with
summonses for exceeding the speed limit of 15 kilometers (9 miles)
per hour. The fine is 75 loonies--Canadian silver dollars-- about
50 U.S. dollars. What with all these conversions, perhaps the
authorities could see their way clear to raise the speed limit for
U.S. roller bladers to 15 miles per hour and fine them only 50
Canadian dollars if they break it. In the memorable words of Yogi
Berra (upon his learning, during a trip to Ireland, that the mayor
of Dublin was Jewish): Only in America!