As a well-known political talk radio host likes to say: Folks, I'm not making this stuff up. And in my case, I'm really not making this stuff up. At least, not the following press release, which I received on Sept 14:

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North Korea follows South Korea's lead in golf domination!!!

Recently, South Korean land developer Unico won a contract to build a fantastic golf course in North Korea. The golf course will have 36 holes in Kaesong. It will cost $40 million to build. North Korea's interest in promoting golf is increasing as the quality of their golf courses flourish. There is a well-known golf course located on an island in the middle of Pyongyang, North Korea. This golf course is complete with bunkers, sand traps and water hazards. North Korea has opened the country to allow international tourism and visitation to its golf courses. Golf is another added benefit of visiting the Korean peninsula. While golf has been a large pastime in the U.S., it is losing its grip on becoming the Golf Mecca of the World.

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Sept. 15, 2006, in the Palace of the Party Leadership, Pyongyang:

Kim Jong Il: Like the Party itself, our golf courses should play a mobilizing role in each stage of revolutionary struggle and tourism development. 

Peoples Tourism Minister: Yes, Dear Leader.

Kim Jong Il: Our glorious revolutionary tradition, born as we threw off the yoke of Japanese imperialist colonial rule, shall inspirethe operation of the course in Kaesong.

Peoples Tourism Minister: Of course, Dear Leader. Now, about the Japanese ...

Kim Jong Il: As my father, Great Leader Kim Il-Sung, wrote in the immortal classic "Sea of Blood," the struggle of the Righteous Volunteers Army against the Japanese masterminds ...

Peoples Tourism Minister: Excuse the interruption, Dear Leader, but the World Travel and Tourism Council Blueprint for Sustainable Tourism in North Korea reports that the Japanese will likely be our most enthusiastic golf visitors.

Kim Jong Il: The Japanese! Impossible! I forbid it! Surely there are other golf-loving nations we can appeal to.

Peoples Tourism Minister: Well, according to the U.N. World Tourism Organization's North Korean Tourism Barometer, golf is the largest pastime for the Americans. America is the Golf Mecca of the world, Dear Leader, although UNWTO thinks we can loosen its grip.

Kim Jong Il: Americans! Against whom we fought the Fatherland Liberation War? Never!

Peoples Tourism Minister: We're running out of options, Dear Leader. Of course, the European Tour Operators Association White Paper on Green Tourism in North Korea feels the British may have some interest in playing golf here.

Kim Jong Il: The British! They are nothing but lapdogs to the running dogs!

Peoples Tourism Minister: I'm having difficultly with that imagery, Dear Leader.

Kim Jong Il: Show me the design of the course again.

Peoples Tourism Minister: The water hazards are over here ...

Kim Jong Il: Hazards?

Peoples Tourism Minister: Yes, besides the sand traps.

Kim Jong Il: Traps?

Peoples Tourism Minister: Parallel to the bunkers here.

Kim Jong Il: Bunkers?

Peoples Tourism Minister: Dear Leader! There's that look in your eye again!

Kim Jong Il: Forget the golf course. What was the second recommendation of the Peoples Committee on the Development of Tourism and Nuclear Energy? The one marked "Plan B"?


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