During my tenures as reporter and editor for Travel Weekly, I've been on dozens of cruise ships -- a half-dozen Carnival Cruise Lines ships alone -- and I've never been on a water slide at sea. I've looked at the line of eager kids waiting for their turn at the chute, but I just never thought about it for myself. Y'know, I'm an adult!
But recently on the new Carnival Breeze, I passed by the Twister water slide, an impressive jumble of yellow tubing, and I looked at it with fresh eyes. I said: "I'm gonna do it."
But not right away. First I had to go back to my cabin to grab my sneakers and try the ropes course.
One of the things Carnival CEO Gerry Cahill has been emphasizing on the Breeze is the line's focus on the open decks. "The reason to be on a cruise is to be outdoors," he said. "With the wind, the sun." And experiencing the sea.
Cahill said that a lot of the emphasis on the outside decks had developed over the last five years.
"I remember 15, 18 years ago, when I started in the industry, the outer decks were swimming pools and lounge chairs," he said. "It's all changed."
He added, "I was just out there about an hour ago, walking around the outer decks, and there was so much going on, and people were doing so many different things. Some people were on the water slides, the water park is strong ... people were in the Sports Square; the Serenity [adults-only] section was packed." (View a video of Cahill and Gus Antorcha, senior vice president of guest commerce, talking about the importance of outdoor space on cruise ships below.)
I had been walking the outer decks that afternoon, as well, and I'd noted the same thing: Carnival has indeed packed its newest ships with all kinds of outdoor activities. Rum and tequila bars at one end of the main pool, Guy's Burger Joint and tacos at the other. The ropes course. Al fresco foosball, billiards, pingpong and minigolf in the SportsSquare. Basketball court. The adults-only Serenity, filled with imitation-wicker loungers -- This section is so popular that Carnival could double the Serenity's deck space and every deck chair and hammock might still be occupied when the Breeze is at sea.
Not to mention open space, tables and loungers on the Deck 5 promenade, a relatively new phenomenon that Carnival created by building an outdoor deck over the lifeboats. Cahill called it the "lanai," and it functioned as an outdoor extension of several bars and lounges on Deck 5.
The water park, called Carnival Waterworks, is a tower of water sprays, overflowing buckets, slides and stairs. And it was teeming with kids, some as young as 3 and 4, who had a small water slide just for them. If I had a school-age child, I doubt I could pry them away from the Waterworks for any shore excursion.
The ropes course, aka Sky Course, was also popular with the younger set, and the kids were fearlessly jumping from skinny beam to swinging bridge, all attached to an overhead track by a safety rope and harness. I figured it would be easier to do ropes first, then cool off in the water slide, so I made my way to the Sky Course first.
I waited for about 10 minutes in a line that was probably 70% kids. As I was being fitted for my harness, the attendant asked me if I was nervous.
"Nah!" I said. But then: "Should I be?"
"Oh, yeah," he said, smiling. "Definitely."
He snapped one end of the safety rope onto the harness and the other end to the overhead track, and I was ready.
Just when I was about to step out onto the course, I received these instructions: "Don't hold onto the safety rope. Pretend like it isn't there."
Full of bravado, I struck out on the advanced course. And halfway over the first wobbly bridge, I realized the ropes were not as easy as they looked. Actually, to my surprise, I found I was terrified: My heart was pounding, my face was getting heated. I noticed that the kids who were previously fearless-looking were all hanging onto their safety ropes. One kid in front of me did in fact slip off a beam; he dangled from the track for a few seconds before recovering and soldiering on. So I gave in, and I cheated. I held onto my safety rope.
After the fourth bridge, as I was approaching a serious challenge, I realized you could toggle between easy and difficult courses. So I did, moving back and forth depending on what I thought I could take. I ended up finding my footing (pun intended) and loving the ropes.
Next up: Twister water slide.
I stood on line for about 15 minutes. Ahead were two men -- thank goodness I'm not the only adult on these lines, I thought! -- and a girl who was hopping up and down in excitement. The three practiced silly surfer stances (even though you're required to go down the slide with ankles and arms crossed). When it was the girl's turn, she jumped in the tube. A few seconds later, a euphoric "woohooo" drifted back to us.
One bonus to the wait, up on the stairs, high above all the ship's decks: The 360-degree view is incredible. The ship was moving away from port, and it was also windy and a little chilly up there. I was glad when I got to the front of the line and was able to put my feet in the warm current of water. It was like being at the top of the ski slope, or seconds before takeoff, or when you're surfing and see the Big Wave coming: a rush of exhilaration and nerves. Which might have been overkill: It's only a water slide, right?
Then, the attendant radioed his partner: "Twister. Coming down," and nodded to me. I slid into the tube.
At first, it was a pleasant meander down the yellow pipe. Then there was a drop, and I picked up significant speed. Suddenly, I swung to the side. Then dropped down again and whipped around.
I couldn't help it: "Woohooo!"
Then: "Aaahhhhh!!" I was sloshed to the left, then to the right, then spiraled and dipped down. Faster and faster I slid. "Aahhh!" And then, just when I was sure that I was completely out of control, I inelegantly splashed into the end zone.
Postscript: As I wrote this, I was camped out on a lounger in the Serenity section, within striking distance of the Splash Zone. The loungey music piped into Serenity was accompanied by the roar of the Power Drencher as it dumped several hundred gallons of water over the young denizens of the Splash Zone every few minutes.
I considered getting to the Lido by way of the other water slide, called the DrainPipe. The only reason I didn't was because I couldn't take my Sail & Sign card or shoes with me. But I did try the Drainpipe and had a second go on the Twister before my time on the Breeze was up.