ONBOARD THE CRYSTAL MOZART -- The toilet wouldn't stop saluting me. Every time I walked into the bathroom of my 219-square-foot S-class suite aboard Crystal's new river cruise ship, the toilet raised its lid in greeting.
"Down boy," I said to little effect. "I'm just washing my face."
The toilet, by Japanese company Toto, does more than open automatically. It has a heated seat, a remote control, various wash settings (do you prefer oscillating or pulsating?), a drier and a programmable feature that enables you to save your favorite toilet-going experience for future use. It's either a wonderful luxury or a confusing replacement for what's usually a fairly intuitive bathroom fixture.
The suites on the Mozart, which debuted earlier this month, are laden with tech amenities.
Instead of individual light switches, buttons allow guests to choose the level of illumination for the entire room with a single press: bright, medium, soft, relax and off. A touchscreen panel by the front door serves as the "do not disturb" or "make up room" indicator.
And a few steps into the room an iPad on the bedside table can simultaneously enable the user to work the TV, summon room service, request extra pillows, book an excursion, see the weather or change the cabin temperature. Passengers can also take the tablet elsewhere on the ship, enabling them to watch on-demand movies while relaxing in a chaise on the top deck or browse shore excursions while at the bar.
In-room iPads aboard the Crystal Mozart can summon your butler or room service, book excursions, operate the TV and control the temperature. Photo Credit: Sarah Feldberg
"I don't think there is frankly a river ship or ocean ship or even boutique hotel that has as much tech," said Crystal COO Thomas Mazloum. "We didn't want to introduce tech for the sake of introducing tech. We want to make it a more convenient experience."
How guests react to the iPad, toilet and other tech amenities likely has less to do with the technology itself and more to do with who's using it. Digitally savvy customers will find the iPad quick to navigate and easy to enjoy. Those less accustomed to tapping their wants onto touchscreens may leave the iPad in its dock altogether and head straight for the in-room phone to hail the butler or request a maintenance visit. The toilet can also be disabled, if guests prefer a more traditional bathroom experience.
Which camp do Crystal's clients fall into?
Mazloum says Crystal will be monitoring guest surveys to gauge the market reaction to the in-room amenities. With six new ships slated to hit European rivers in the next couple years, the Mozart is serving as something of a test case for the company's river fleet.
If the forthcoming ships Mahler, Bach, Ravel and Debussy debut sans luxury loos or all-encompassing iPads, we'll know that Mozart's high-tech amenities went unappreciated. Or that someone decided we could do without heated toilet seats, after all.