Those high-pitched sounds youve been hearing are squeals of delight from the makers of lists. They love this time of year. They practically wallow in it, what with shopping lists, lists of the great events of the last year, lists of things they forgot to do, lists of things they want to do, resolutions, predictions. The list, as it were, goes on and on.

Our own maker of lists, who normally toils in a dark cubicle, has been groveling and gnawing at our ankles for the chance to shine in this space. And so we relent and give it over, just once, for the mother of all lists: The First and Only Travel Weekly List of Lists We Will Not Make in 2007:

  • Ten airlines that should never merge.

  • The 50 least expensive motels in America.

  • The 10 best cruise ship names that are not yet taken.

  • The 10 best Amtrak stations.

  • Bob Dickinsons 10 favorite wines (he wont stop at 10!).

  • The 10 fastest airport people movers in Europe.

  • Fifty travel dot-coms that time forgot.

  • One hundred and one hotel brands that youve never heard of.

  • Top 10 apocryphal stories about Bob Crandall.

  • Top five airlines that have never been involved in a merger.

  • Ten good ways to respond to a debit memo if you truly dont care about the consequences.

  • Ten tour operators where nobody in the company is related to anybody else in the company.

  • Top 10 true stories about Herb Kelleher.

  • Twenty-five Alaskan towns that love cruise passengers.

  • The 10 worst Amtrak stations.

  • Ten clever places to put the tip for the hotel maid.

  • Top 10 funny sentences made from airport code combinations (e.g., DEN SUX, OMA MIA).

  • Countries with cooler passports than ours.

  • Twenty-five Caribbean islands that love cruise lines.

  • Things not to say in the airport security line.

  • A dozen new uses for your old brochure racks (with illustrations).

  • Ten movies the airlines will never show in flight.

  • Ten things you cant do at an airport check-in kiosk.

  • The travel industry sectors that Adam Aron hasnt worked in -- yet.

  • Five funny stories involving Bob Crandall and Herb Kelleher.

  • Forgotten nautical terms.

  • Five places on the Freedom of the Seas where nobody has actually been yet.

  • All the things that could go wrong in the cockpit if you use a cell phone in flight.

  • Seven synonyms for timeshare.

  • All the different ways to calculate gross registered tonnage of cruise ships, including the right one.

  • Ten ways to tell the difference between an upper-mid-upscale hotel and a mid-upper-upscale hotel.

  • Suggested names for the Travelocity gnome.

  • Twenty-five travel industry acronyms that mysteriously went away when we werent looking (e.g., CATM, UBOA).

  • Richard Bransons five least-exciting hobbies.

  • Twenty-one questions you should ask yourself before making a list.  
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