Traveling in the past tense

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For a little New Year's diversion, here is my start on a list of top travel newsmakers of the last two millennia.

Ask yourself if you would want any of these characters as clients.

1. The first known incidence of hotel walking clients occurred in Bethlehem, probably in about 4 B.C., and it involved a couple named Joseph and Mary. They were "protected" with space in a barn, and when they checked out, they numbered three.

2. In a well-publicized long-distance trip, the same family -- for security reasons -- left their homeland for Egypt.

Considering they traveled by donkey -- slow and with no shocks -- are you surprised they refused to come home for several years?

3. Then we have the unlikely story of a sixth century Irish abbot sailing across the Atlantic in an oxhide boat -- our earliest example of budget cruising. The man was real; he sailed closer to home -- and he gave his name to Brendan Tours.

4. The Vikings seem to have invented camping trips. At least, they invented sleeping bags and carried them along when one of their number, Leif Ericsson, led the first exploratory journey by Europeans to North America precisely 1,000 years ago.

It is no wonder Leif wanted to get away from his Greenland home. His father, Eric the Red, had been outlawed several times for multiple murders. His sister Freydus was pretty handy with an axe, too.

5. Millions left home for often disastrous long-haul travel to "save" the Holy Land from the infidel in the Middle Ages.

For one dysfunctional family, it was a multigenerational experience. In the 1140s, Eleanor of Acquitaine and the French king Louis VII joined the action. In the most important event of the trip, she asked for a divorce.

In the 1190s, England's King Richard Lion Heart -- Eleanor's son -- took his turn while brother John stayed home, coveted the throne and hunted outlaws with names like Robin Hood.

6. The world's longest recorded business trip started in 1271 and ended back in Venice in 1295. Marco Polo, his father and uncle were traders who spent at least 17 years in the court of Kublai Khan, the Mongolian emperor in Cathay.

Marco dictated his trip report while in prison, and judging by the introduction, this journey was the ultimate fam. The Polos traveled much of the time comped by the khan. And there is no evidence Marco brought pasta to Italy.

I cannot be stopped now. I have six items on this list. Part two will appear next week.

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