With this year's divisive and unprecedentedly nasty presidential election prompting many Americans to joke about fleeing the country, the Harbour Village Beach Club in Bonaire is offering to help them escape -- at least temporarily.
The resort's Elect to Escape package, which includes a private boat charter to the uninhabited island of Klein Bonaire for a day of off-the-grid isolation, is just one of several election-themed travel options being marketed to Americans looking for presidential pampering without the politics.
Starting at $2,590 for four nights, based on double occupancy, the Harbour Village Beach Club option also includes accommodations in a one-bedroom beachfront suite with open air patio and hammock, two 60-minute massages, wine and cheese on arrival and dinner on the beach.
For those less intent on leaving the country than simply tuning out the nonstop news coverage, The Brazilian Court Hotel's Presidential Pampering in Palm Beach package, which starts at $21,750, includes roundtrip private-jet travel, two-nights in its luxurious Hepburn Suite, a 24/7 personal butler, chauffer service in a Cadillac Escalade, a session with famed hair stylist Frederic Fekkai, private dinner for two at Cafe Boulud and monogrammed robes and slippers.
The living room of the Hepburn Suite at the Brazilian Court Hotel in Palm Beach, Fla.
Those in the thick of the D.C.-based shenanigans might want to consider the Commander in Sleep or The First Ladies Getway at Salamander Resort & Spa in Middleburg, Va. Starting at $365 per person, per night, the Sleep package includes a two-night stay in a Dressage Suite, "nonpartisan nightcaps" for two at its Gold Cup Wine Bar and "complimentary nondelivery of morning newspapers." The ladies getaway starts at $1,150 per night for single occupancy and includes two nights in a double queen room, its "Crushed Cabernet" 80-minute spa treatment, a yoga class and chilled wines in the room upon arrival.
For voters more interested in retail-style therapy, the Hotel Crescent Court in uptown Dallas is offering Presidential Panache that, starting at $32,000, includes roundtrip private-jet travel, a stay in the 3,035 square-foot Grand Presidential Suite, a bulletproof black Escalade with driver, designer fashion delivery by Stanly Korshak and an in-room "glam squad" providing professional hair styling, makeup and nail services.
And for those whose only real escape comes on the golf course, the Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort in Florida offers unlimited rounds, an in-room build-your-own martini bar and oceanfront room with its Running Mates options, starting at $489 a night. In Orlando, its sister property, the Omni Orlando Resort at ChampionsGate, has put together Presidential Stay & Play, which includes 18 holes of golf daily on the Greg Norman-designed International and National courses, cart and club rentals, breakfast and a bucket of Presidente Beer and "Left & Right" Wings, starting at $275 a night.